Busy August

** Updated:
A year back, a friend was telling me that she believed eating lots of ice cream would contribute to weight loss. I asked her why and she told me it's because eating too much ice cream causes diarrhea. Out of boredom, I ate 4-5 ice cream potongs and 1 magnum classic within 12 hours which included 5 hours of sleep. Before this post, I was stuck in the toilet for a whole 15 minutes of constipation. I'd just busted a myth. Lol.

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I had finally found my camera cable to upload all these photos. I had filtered these photos heavily so that all blur photos are disposed as much as possible. Well, I'm not the only one taking the camera so.. Maybe not everyone is able to use the camera effectively; not even myself. Ahem*

First up, Isabel with Guai Guai whose hair has obviously grown too much. Lol.

Next up, Granny's birthday home celebration with my family's first try of Four Leaves' Coco Exotic Cake. They loved it! Swing and Weiwen came too (:

Heh heh, show you an adorable picture of Gingin who is always camera-unfriendly. I have no idea how Sheridin managed to capture such an awesome shot :]

And then, it's Santi's birthday..

Next up, it's PAMELA's birthday! I'll upload this on facebook later on. I took hell long time to filter off those super blurred pictures and also those with super poor lightning, which I don't want to waste time photoshopping the brightness of the photo focus..

This girl was so touched, she teared! Here are the wonderful people who came down for her celebration (:

I hope you'd really enjoyed it very much (:

Lastly, MSC handover & farewell!

Some thoughts after MSC: I had a great time knowing more people, learning more operational procedures and cultivating self discipline. I'm not sure for the others, but I'm definite that I have an awesome Team 1!

Special loves to..

Jasmine - for being the one who always motivates and share thoughts with me. I missed the long train ride home where we keep alert for available seats after Yishun MRT.

HuiYun - for always listening to my rantings, after-shiftwork-eating moments and going crazy together

Joshua - for being such a good receiving partner and maintaining discipline in Team 1 (Lol!)

Faizal - for being such a good team member; does her things well and work well together to get things done.

Brandon - for being sucha good snack suggester (Lol?) I'm not gonna say a lot cuz' you didn't come for the last 2 days! Hmph! :]

Not forgetting wonderful Miss Ching, Miss Edwina Lim for guiding us in the operational issues and Miss Poo for the continuous motivations given. Everything learnt here has brought me to a higher level of operational skills and I believe it had gave me more in-depth experience of working life. Thank you so much everyone! :)

失去

我一直以为我的死撑，我的执著，会让你感受我的真心，我想好好维持的这分感情的诚意。我太高盼我自己，以为你会好好珍惜。

我错了。。我就是这样，什么都做不好。

如果这是你的解拖，我承认这是我的错，我一早就该放手。你有自由好好过，对不起。

Guilt?

9 weeks of emrs, 9 weeks of msc cheers is finally over.. 3 weeks of holiday for now till our classical modules starts. This meant no pocket money; not forgetting I'm still not employed yet.

3 weeks for me to earn as much money as possible by chiong-ing flea markets and set up stalls. I don't want life without money at all. Now I can't even attend my best friend's bday celebration; I don't even dare to think of what I can give to him.

Can I give u more friendship? If only I could.. You alr knew how devastated i was from the previously failed bday celeb for u(u probably forgotten).. The utlimate stress of not being able to enjoy every moment financially brought me nothing except unhappiness. I wished you all could understand but Despite rejecting all meet ups and bday parties, did I not make it obvious that I couldn't go back to that life anymore?

Yes I admit I was really sad when honestly speaking, my birthday was actually "forgotten" and I know I couldn't ask for more. Call me useless, I wouldn't mind. Our families are just so different, I just can't afford that kinda lifestyle.

Last year I couldn't give my best friend a celebration, not even a meet up. I'm glad this year i'd made it up to her. Those are probably the kinda birthday I want. I really couldn't afford more and this was yet the best bday I think I'd brought to her . it doesn't takes a lavish celebration to be the most memorable one after all.

Call me poor. I don't wanna avoid the fact that I couldn't afford a bday celeb for even my best friend(s). Yes maybe not even a decent one. No more gatherings, no more meet up, no more celebrations..

I'm a pauper; who recently felt emo after so long of trying to run away from reality. Anything can bring tears now so if anyone wants to go out with me, remember this post. I'm just too poor so if u mind, don't ask me out unless it's some kinda mockery.

I don't want to elaborate anymore. I'm not amirable too. I didn't blog this for any caring attention or the need to feel pitied. I didn't type this in any anger except for acknowledging myself in a harsh way. I just thought this was a better way to let everyone know.. How useless I am.

Procrastination

pro·cras·ti·nate   [proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-]

–verb (used without object)
1.
to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

–verb (used with object)
2.
to put off till another day or time; defer; delay

Since God-knows-when, I had been procrastinating every moment of my life. This feeling sucks. Especially when I can start bitching how fucked up everyone's life is, when I didn't realise I'm actually destroying myself .. bit by bit.. It's so rooted, I don't think I can ever get out of it anymore.

Somehow emo days are back again. MSC is ending in 2 days' time which generally means a few weeks more to end TEP. I should be happy. I should be. But I'm not.

Maybe the things around me kept reminding me how useless I am?
And I guess, I wasn't born for anything at all.
A total insult to breathe under the same sky.

#1. I had failed to play Marriage De' Amour

#2. I can lose my beat on Canon in C

#3. I can't sing right notes anymore

#4. I can only reach 21 notes from low G

#5. I don't even dare move my body to the groove

#6. I don't know what I can wear anymore

#7. I couldn't find a listener

#8. I'm gonna fail my TEP with my MCs

#9. I'm not cut to be a leader at all

#10. I can't manage my business

#11. I'd made everyone lose trust in me
#12. I can't even gain respect

#13. I feel forsaken all the time

#14. I wished I could wake up to somewhere peaceful

#15. I wanna dance out what I can choreograph in my mind

#16. I wanna sing like a rockstar

#17. I wanna be a good friend

#18. I wanna be a good girlfriend

#19. I wanna be a good part of my family

#20. I wanna die.

I was only right about the procrastination. Nothing else..

fleaaaaaaaaaa!

We manage to find someone to share the booth with for this event! Our stall location haven't been fixed because it's on first come first serve basis. I'll be taking up the rack space to clear my apparels instock, at an amazing price of..

1 for $12!
2 for $20!

This will include tops, blouse, bottoms, all new, none pre-loved! You can check out some of the apparels here ; we also have more apparels that are not included in that post, so do come down to have a look! It's as pity we didn't sign up for this flea earlier, if not we would be able clear some accessories and gift items at 3 for $10. It's alright; we still managed to find someone who wants to share booth 1 day ahead of the flea :)