breatheless

Finally P.O.M is over.
All the stress I'd been bottling inside of me, perhaps even my group members didnt realised it. I really lost the ability to express myself anymore. I had tried to be fair. But whatever it is, I just can't help feeling helpless. I wished tears helped. But it didnt change the fact. I thought I wasn't but am I really being the selfish one?

I hate school life. I hate time. I hate everything.
&& I hate myself.

Shit happens. Ya, let's just blame every shit to me now.

I could hardly catch my breathe now.

Weekends I need to tend my business and need to work on Sunday night. I have 2 upcoming projs to complete. I wished my group members can really give me support and understanding. I haven't been going FB. For 4 lessons since the start of FB pratice.

Tell me. What should I give up?
1. School (back to working life)
2. Friends
3. FB
4. Work at cotton on

Options I wouldn't include: Girlfriend and my own business.

1. School
I seriousl hate school. Probably it's because for 2 years I had been in the retail world. I had difficulties communicating with everyone.

2. Friends
I would just be myself, alone.

3. FB
It's tiring on a Friday night. I had to spend time in school from 8.30am to 10++pm?

4. Work at Cotton On
I had to work at least 10hrs. My incharges stopped me from tendering twice and gave me the 10hrs/week special approcal. I dont wish to disappoint them and I'm starting to click well with some of the part timers there. I'm starting to feel a sense of belonging and yet I'm feeling I have no time for myself to rest.


My time is just enough for school, business, cotton on job. Rest is not enough definitely. I'm occupied every single day. My body is too tired for the 5 weekdays to go for FB. And I need to prepare set up for my business on weekends. And I'm working two 5hrs shift on one weekday and one weekend.

Argh.


i hate... myself.