Bad Mooooood

I'm really glad the way things are in school now for me. It makes me motivated to go school everyday. Pamela feels it too.

However, just look at the first photo, MicroEcons' graph for demand curve. We still have supply curve and demand & supply curve. MicroEcons is only one out of my six modules I'm taking this sem. I tried my best to motivate myself to do tutorials so that I can pull my gpa higher. Expected-ly, with my ever slacker attitude, my hardworking-ness to do tutorial, didn't last more than one month.

It's Week 5 now and I haven't been doing my tutorials.

Why do I feel this way?
Why do I feel so stupid?
Why am I so not hardworking?
Why must I forever be so lazy?
Why must I continue to destroy my life?

The more I brood over it, the more emo I feel.

Why must I stop all these?
Why can't I manage 2 ICAS and my tutorials at the same time?
Why must I fucking hack care about my education path?
why..
why...
why....
why.....

I know the more I'm emo, the more I'm gonna lose my friends.
I'm trying so hard to control my emotions cuz I don't want to see a shrink.
I'm already at the verge of having my tears rolling down when I'm in school.

On top of all these shit, I hope Baby Swing understands ______ is only my idol.
Just like Stefanie Sun and you. Can see but will not touch. I'm sensible to know this concept.
&& you know I only love you.

I need a break from everywhere now.
Why am I so fucking useless.

My body is so weak now. I "lau sai" once to four times a day for one whole week already.
At this state of mind, I don't think I can concentrate on any shit in school/ home or whatever you name it.
I'm gonna take MC tmrw to see doctor and get a break.

&& what's next?
My grandpa is complaining about his eyes hurting.
The whole drama is gonna start AGAIN.
Just read my previous post and you will know how tired the whole family will be later on.
I'm not despising my grandpa but it's just gonna be a big hassle to send him to the hospital and continue from there..

*Breathe....*
I just hope everyone understand the stress and self-pressure I'm facing now.
Don't blame me for being emo. I really can't help it.. I'm useless..